Thursday, May 20, 2010

Is it okay not to do the bouquet toss or the garter thing?

I know these are steeped in tradition. But is it okay to omit it? I personally don't like either one of these things, and as my reception is in a restaurant and is banquet style, there isn't much room to do this stuff anyway. What do you think?

Is it okay not to do the bouquet toss or the garter thing?
It is YOUR day, and it is perfectly fine to omit those things. I agree with you... I do not plan on having those be a part of my wedding because I find them very stupid and almost embarrassing.
Reply:TUTY totally up to you!
Reply:Perfectly fine. Many people skip those and no one misses them. In a restaurant banquet room, most people would understand why it was missing if they even noticed in the first place.
Reply:I feel like you should do what you want to do. This is your special day and nobody (including tradition) can tell you what to do. I had some different things at my wedding...the dollar dance, trivia questions to go to the buffet, etc. Make your reception your own.
Reply:this is fine, it's your day. if anything, I'd suggest as your leaving the rest. and as your guest wave good-bye, toss your boquet so you did the tradition somewhat..that's just me. but it's your day, have fun w/ it...and good lucK!
Reply:of course it's okay!!!! it's your wedding... but you still might wanna wear a garter for fun!


I'd talk to your MC. ( that is if you have one) maybe you'll want a few fun things to at your wedding if you want!
Reply:You can. We omitted both, and it was fine.
Reply:We're not doing either. However, I did want to acknowledge my sister and sisters-in-law (one sister, one current sister-in-law and four new sisters-in-law) in some way. My bouquet will be lilies with six yellow roses (my sentimental favorite and a symbol of friendship.) The florist will make the bouquet so that I can unwrap it and remove the roses. Instead of the bouquet toss, I'm going to ask each of my sister and sisters-in-law to come forward so I can give each of them one of the roses. It's another symbolic uniting of the families, and a way to acknowledge my special affection for each one of them.





So, feel free to substitute something else, or just skip them all together. Best wishes!
Reply:Go ahead and omit it if you dont want it in your wedding. Remember, it is YOUR special day! Don't do anything you don't want to do!





Instead of the bouquet toss at my wedding I'm going to do the an anniversary dance. It's where you have a dance and ask everyone who is married to get on the dance floor and throughout the song you ask people to leave the dance floor if they've been married for 5 years or less....then 10 years or less etc... Then the last couple standing recieves the bouquet!





Congradulations and GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:I felt the same way. The only traditional thing we did at our reception was toasts by our two best friends. I say don't do it. Not that many people even like getting out there to catch them. Skip it!
Reply:The bouquet toss and the garter are getting old and a lot of people don't do it anymore. I didn't do it at my wedding. My DJ told me that you should have at least 10 - 15 single people both male and female if you are going to do it. He also said that a lot of people who are single feel singled out when this is done and don't really enjoy doing it.
Reply:Yes, it's totally acceptable. In fact, maybe you should consider giving your bouquet away, perhaps to your new mother-in-law as a way of welcoming her to your family.
Reply:Perfectly appropriate.





I find the garter toss thing to be in poor taste, and since I'm not doing it, I'm omitting the throw the bouquet as well. Most guests on weddings do not want to participate anyway.





Good luck
Reply:I think alot of people will be happy for you to omit it. We aren't doing it, and they didn't do it at a wedding I attended this Spring. Nobody said a word about it!
Reply:We had a bouquet toss, but no garter. Since almost all of our guests were married, I asked all of the ladies to come up and catch the bouquet for luck. I had a breakaway bouquet, so five of my guests caught roses, and then we all had a picture together. Since they knew it wasn't going to involve a garter, everyone was happy to participate.





But if you want to skip it, you can skip it!
Reply:Yes, it's perfectly okay not to have the garter or bouquet toss. I find the garter removal vulgar and I wouldn't want to toss my bouquet - I made it! Of course, we didn't do some of the other "traditional" things either - father/daughter dance (or any dancing by the wedding party or guests for that matter), toasts, money dance, we didn't serve liquor.





In Hawaii it's obnoxiously traditional for the Bride to do a hula for her husband. I don't like hula, never have, so I wasn't going to learn one (my husband doesn't care for it either). Friends were a little shocked that I wasn't going to do a hula, so as a surprise gift during the reception they performed 2 dances for us. It was beautiful and I thanked them very much for the gift.





Overall I think some traditions are overrated and have become tacky and cliche. Don't do it if you don't want to.
Reply:You're getting married right? The wonderful thing about the United States is that we're a democracy, and you pretty much get to do it the way you want to do it.
Reply:Ofcourse you can omit it. My neighbor hated those traditions so she came up with the idea of substituting it with something different. All the married couples got on the floor and danced and then one by one they were eliminated by how long they had been married. The couple married the longest got a beautiful bouquet presented by the bride and groom. It was really sweet. Congrats and I hoped this helped.:0)
Reply:You can do whatever you want, its your wedding.
Reply:i didnt have a boquet so im sure its fine
Reply:You don't have to do the garter, but the bouquet toss is a ending of the cermony! You can wait and do it say out side just before you drive off and there will be more room. People will expect it, 'tradition'
Reply:you don't need to do that stuff. besides, your reception will be at a restaurant, and it will be difficult to do it.
Reply:It is absolutely ok and I applaud you for not doing it! (I once saw a bouquet go straight out an open window because none of the women wanted to play the game, lol).
Reply:good idea to skip them very tacky
Reply:Not everyone does it. No big deal!
Reply:we didn't do either of those at our reception and no one seemed to miss it. I've always hated them myself, so I didn't see the point of doing something I didn't like.
Reply:its up to you. i didnt do them at mine. i dont like them either.
Reply:you should really do whatever makes you happy. It it tradition but it's doesn't mean you have to do it. People will be expecting you to do it. I would feel like something was missing if i went to a wedding and they didn't do the bouquet toss.. Best of luck.
Reply:I think you should be able to do it how you want it is your wedding, if you don't want it then don't do it.


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